I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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