I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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