Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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