you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No I am not eating basil off your cock
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
