After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My dick has a subreddit
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
