Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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