is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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