I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
