did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
