we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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