Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
