Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
