What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
