Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Me too!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
