I'm really into asian looking animals
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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