Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
