11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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