stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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