butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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