im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
