OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
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Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
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My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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