dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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