I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
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Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just found puke in my bra..
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
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