Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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