no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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