Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
