I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
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Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize