Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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