Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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