Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
