walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
