I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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