Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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