Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(845): View more from New York

Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes. http://tfl.nu/5scb

Replies (44) Good night (1315) Bad night (1785)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt. http://tfl.nu/1my8

Replies (20) Good night (1511) Bad night (2998)
Favorite
(305): View more from Florida

so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(305): so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high. http://tfl.nu/cyd0

Replies (20) Good night (5264) Bad night (720)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.

(715): View more from Wisconsin

Worst stoner tragedy.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo. (715): Worst stoner tragedy. http://tfl.nu/7uyr

Replies (41) Good night (1989) Bad night (6482)
Favorite
(706): View more from Georgia

Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(706): Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully. http://tfl.nu/qn1h

Replies (119) Good night (12539) Bad night (1286)
Favorite
(706): View more from Georgia

She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(706): She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things http://tfl.nu/lrvj

Replies (23) Good night (4942) Bad night (1379)
Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city. http://tfl.nu/cnew

Replies (9) Good night (1377) Bad night (2577)
Favorite
(708): View more from Illinois

we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(708): we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though http://tfl.nu/249z

Replies (4) Good night (2664) Bad night (707)
Favorite
(870): View more from Arkansas

Its gonna be a symphony of fucks

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(870): Its gonna be a symphony of fucks http://tfl.nu/8ess

Replies (7) Good night (1771) Bad night (696)
Favorite
(920): View more from Wisconsin

Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(920): Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better http://tfl.nu/nui9

Replies (5) Good night (632) Bad night (1684)
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out? http://tfl.nu/ogsn

Replies (9) Good night (1499) Bad night (747)
Favorite
(406): View more from Montana

I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(406): I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself http://tfl.nu/7ngm

Replies (13) Good night (2560) Bad night (905)
Favorite
(406): View more from Montana

its 2pm. u awake yet?

(1-406): View more from Montana

ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(406): its 2pm. u awake yet? (1-406): ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face. http://tfl.nu/0qbj

Replies (0) Good night (454) Bad night (713)
Favorite
(585): View more from New York

You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….

(716): View more from New York

...Then...

(585): View more from New York

Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(585): You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then……. (716): ...Then... (585): Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one http://tfl.nu/7kz2

Replies (0) Good night (850) Bad night (360)
Favorite
(810): View more from Michigan

Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

I still maintain we were not that drunk......

(810): View more from Michigan

Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(810): Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room. (1-810): I still maintain we were not that drunk...... (810): Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down! http://tfl.nu/mzkd

Replies (2) Good night (881) Bad night (312)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard