Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing

(719): View more from Colorado

The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?

(303): View more from Colorado

Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner

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(303): Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing (719): The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors? (303 ): Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner http://tfl.nu/juf5

Replies (13) Good night (2668) Bad night (838)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours

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(610): there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours http://tfl.nu/tvxl

Replies (3) Good night (664) Bad night (2803)
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(419): View more from Ohio

His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.

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(419): His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him. http://tfl.nu/wimg

Replies (60) Good night (1197) Bad night (3415)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm

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(203): too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm http://tfl.nu/fqzs

Replies (43) Good night (1347) Bad night (4169)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"

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(808): white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month" http://tfl.nu/8vpl

Replies (46) Good night (15101) Bad night (1636)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.

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(859): Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine. http://tfl.nu/7uwl

Replies (15) Good night (5072) Bad night (1559)
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(305): View more from Florida

MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.

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(305): MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like. http://tfl.nu/d99s

Replies (17) Good night (1716) Bad night (5823)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.

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(202): My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about. (202): Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ. http://tfl.nu/wtju

Replies (7) Good night (3203) Bad night (995)
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(217): View more from Illinois

So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.

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(217): So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world. http://tfl.nu/kbv9

Replies (18) Good night (2523) Bad night (1701)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.

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(419): I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation. http://tfl.nu/t73g

Replies (2) Good night (1027) Bad night (819)
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(310): View more from California

He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed

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(310): He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed http://tfl.nu/mil9

Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (1317)
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(330): View more from Ohio

the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.

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(330): the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica. http://tfl.nu/9g1v

Replies (0) Good night (619) Bad night (374)
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(419): View more from Ohio

it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?

(1-419): View more from Ohio

.....fair enough

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(419): it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong? (1-419): .....fair enough http://tfl.nu/x8b2

Replies (0) Good night (645) Bad night (353)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.

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(870): I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much. http://tfl.nu/q81h

Replies (0) Good night (553) Bad night (424)
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(512): View more from Texas

Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.

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(512): Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point. http://tfl.nu/r9ru

Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (212)

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