Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.