Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.

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(281): View more from Texas

FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!

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(352): View more from Florida

Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.

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(805): View more from California

I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(307): View more from Wyoming

Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.

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(913): View more from Kansas

You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.

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(515): View more from Iowa

My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.

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(760): View more from California

Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.

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