Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.