I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.