dude i'm inner monologue high
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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