they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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