I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
