Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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