Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
