you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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