I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize