Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
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that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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