The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
