im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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