I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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