the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
