the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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