just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
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you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
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I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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