Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize