i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
