You're my little dorito
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
