He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize