went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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