I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You are the jesus of drinking
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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