I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
