he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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