i jhust puked up my retainher.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
